This is your cue to take a little break from your own nonsense responsibilities and enjoy a mini dose of relatable reality. That little dopamine hit is the boost we all need. Now, the concept of a menu is the idea that you can pick and choose your dopamine hits for the day from a whole host of ideas and use them as and when you need them. One of mine is Vinted.
Vinted, well, more specifically, Vinted sales, features heavily on my daily dopamine menu. Because, well, it’s just a constant drip, drip of income and those little sales equal INSTANT mood elevation. Vinted works as a dopamine hit for me because it aligns with my seasonal urges to cleanse my space, de-clutter and dim my natural hoarder tendencies. Deep down, I’m just a messy gypsy circus lover who is happiest surrounded by sparkly trinkets and treasures, so naturally, I’m a Vinted marketer’s dream.
Buy me a coffee, or better BOTOX
The best part about this particular dopamine hit is that, unlike expensive fancy prancy iced lattes, setting up a Vinted store and listing all your unwanted items is completely free, and there’s unlimited earning potential. No one is going to say that could have been a house deposit (unless you spend all your earnings back on Vinted). That’s not to say that Vinted isn’t problematic. In fact, some days it’s downright unhinged. What it won’t cost you in physical money, it will cost you in time, mental capacity and mental sanity.
*Will this suit me?
I don’t know, Karen, let me consult my crystal ball.
Expect 3456 vague messages like this per day. Before you know it, you’ve listed 1000 items, you’re visiting 3 different post offices a day, and you’re lying with your leg in the air, measuring your heel-to-toe ratio to let Sandra from Bradford know if your vintage cowboy boots are, in fact, true to size. Only for her to ghost you in the end.
Yes, the little notification that tells you that you’ve made a sale is all fun and games until Patriciadaisy905 messages you at 3 am to ask for a pit-to-pit measurement of your Rixo dress, and you get out of bed and ACTUALLY do it because by now you are a slave to the Vinted app and are questioning all of your life choices.
To date, I’ve made £3453.85. I originally downloaded Vinted at the same time as I read The Magic Art of Tidying (which is basically a wholesome play on the *hot boy rule), and so every item that didn’t ‘spark joy’ found its new home in my Vinted Store.
£3500 is a lot of money. Do I feel £3500 richer? No. But am I glad I made it? Yes! Now the Vinted algorithm is a tricky one to master, and I’ve learned that my Vinted account is like Tinkerbell and not unlike myself; without constant attention, it wilts and dies. To generate the perfect amount of attention, you must list items regularly and feed it a constant stream of clothes and accessories that you no longer love. I often cheat the system and list things I actually have no intention of selling just to get my feed in front of more eyes. Vinted Roulette, shall we say, which definitely adds a spicy tinge to the action.
HOT TIP: If you’re risk-averse, you can trick it by deleting and re-uploading the same item.
If nothing else, it is a superb facet for exercising free will. Sell those old Stella McCartney bags for a price you’ve picked out of the sky, post it on time or don’t, reply to those nonsense messages or leave them on read, post it in a pink jiffy bag or an old cereal box. If you’re bored or want a side hustle, Vinted is ideal. If you’re divorcing your ex, grieving, have a full time job, don’t own Sellotape or don’t want to be on first name terms with everyone who works at the post office, AVOID as the last thing you need when you are being a grown up is dealing with Sheila who wants your leopard print coat for a Cat Slater costume but only if you can post it in the next 3 seconds.
Nonsense and Notifications
Can we talk about the notifications, though? Vinted notifications are Nonsense with a capital N. Let me write that in bold and underline it. Now, something Vinted does very well is leave little room for error. Every part of your parcel’s journey is excessively documented from the moment you place it into the locker, to the exact second the postman saw it with his eyeballs, to the song he was singing when he opened the locker, right down to the number of birds that saw your parcel during its commute.
As a result, it’s notification-heavy. Your friends will notice your phone blowing up and think you have suddenly sky-rocketed in popularity or finally got yourself a hot boyfriend but in reality it is just Jane from Vinted asking if you think the trousers you are selling will fit her as she is usually a size twelve but she’s now a size 10 but might go back up to a 12 and if you can upload 5 more photos of it on before she can bear to part with her precious £2.50.
Things that make Vinted easier:
- Owning a large roll of brown paper to keep packaging costs low
- Remembering you have a digital tape measure on your phone
- De-selecting the number of posting options so you go to a maximum of 2 post offices per day instead of 5. Catering for Yodel, Royal Mail, In Post lockers, Evri and Pigeon Carrier is a shit show.
- Leaving Sharon on read
- Have a designated posting day
- Vodka
- Wine
And yes, girl math applies here: if you make £10 in sales and buy a £10 item with your Vinted balance, that item was in fact free. YOLO.
Will you be adding Vinted to your dopamine menu? And do you think my top will suit Sharon? Let me know in the comments!
PPS – stop by my Vinted if you like a bargain.
*How do I decide what to list? It’s the hot boy rule. Would I wear this in front of a hot boy, and would I die of embarrassment if he saw this item in my wardrobe/home? It’s a strange formula that is actually epic, if not a tad ruthless. Full disclosure, I once ended up with not a single thing to wear after throwing out all my old leggings without replacing them first. Would not recommend.
