As my maternity leave comes to end this month, I thought it would be timely to update you all on my motherhood journey so far and share some pearls of wisdom about maternity leave. The milestones, the meltdowns, the magic and the monotony. This is the post I wish I could have read and the things I wish I had put on my maternity leave to do list (and the things I wish I’d left off it).
Remember, no one is handing out medals
In many ways, maternity leave is like an initiation into motherhood. There are trials that will push you to your limits and days that you will question your very being. There’s the pressure you will feel from others who have kids, fellow mums on social media and people you walk past in the street. You will feel the need to juggle everything, be everywhere and look good while doing it but trust me, no one is handing out medals for breastfeeding, doing 6 baby classes per week or batch cooking. So. Take the nap, order in and if you reach the end of the day and have done nothing else but love your baby you have done enough. You are enough. Your baby will love you just as much with last week’s mascara smudged on your tired eyes that with a fresh coat of roller lash. YOU DO YOU.
Leave the house once per day…
Before you go on maternity leave, it’s hard to predict the structure each day will take and planning often goes out of the window. You imagine cute coffee shops and idyllic lunches watching the world go by. The advice I was given by a good friend of mine was to aim to leave the house once per day, even if it’s just a walk around the block. Sounds easy right? At first, you will think filling your day might be impossible but then a few days in you realise you could actually fill each day with washing alone. A change of scenery is essential for your sanity, so get out with that pram and take a walk. Rope in your friends so you get some adult conversation and get some steps in and feel those endorphins kick in. For me, having my baby in the pram meant I knew she was safe and secure and would usually fall asleep within seconds giving me a little break from being 100% on all the time.
Here’s a little day in the life of our maternity leave:
6am-6.30 – Jolie usually wakes around this time and after a quick nappy change we go downstairs to let Ted out, feed him and let him out again. I’ll pop Jolie in the bouncer while I make an iced latte and fill the sink with bottles and dummies to be washed.
7am- Time for Jolie’s first feed of the day (8 ounces of milk) while catching up on some trashy Netflix drama and sofa snuggles. (Selling Sunset is my current fave).
7.30 – I’ll pop Jolie on her playmat to kick around and catch up on some emails or write a blog post.
8am – This is when Jolie has her first nap of the day and this usually lasts for around 45 minutes to an hour. She’ll have this nap in her cot and I’ll take this opportunity to shower and get ready, pop a wash on, clean the kitchen and sterilise bottles armed with a baby monitor.
9am- Another nappy change and time to get Jolie dressed and ready to leave the house. We go to the gym 2-3 days per week where I’ll put Jolie in the creche for 2 hours so I can do a workout class or chill in the cafe. I’ll pack a bag and prepare a bottle to take with us.
10am-12 Work/workout
12.30 We’ll arrive home and do a quick nappy change before making another bottle to have at 1pm.
1pm Feed.
1.30pm If we have no plans for the day I’ll put Jolie in her pram and take the dog for an hour walk. This is when she will have her lunchtime nap which can last for 1-2 hours. If we do have plans it will either be lunch with a friend, a coffee with a fellow mum, a food shop, a baby sensory class, a baby massage class, baby swim or a mum and baby pilates class.
2.30pm If Jolie is still asleep I’ll leave her in the pram to nap while I catch up on jobs in the house. When she wakes up, we will have tummy time, read stories, have fun with toys.
4pm Feed
4.30pm – Afternoon Nap // Playtime – Jolie had an afternoon nap until around 5 months old but now she seems to have dropped this nap and only has it if she has had a particularly stimulating day.
5PM Bathtime // Pjs // Cuddles
6.30/7pm – Bedtime
Pick One Activity a Month and Enjoy it
No sooner have you given birth and are safely at home trying to navigate breastfeeding, bathing and burping a baby you are also struck with the notion that you aren’t doing any of those activities that everyone talks about when maternity leave is mentioned. You know the drill. Baby yoga, baby sensory, baby cinema, sing and sign, baby massage, baby swim and all that jazz. My advice for this would be not to fill each day with a different costly baby class as while it’s nice to be able to tell people (your husband who asks each day without fail what you are doing today) that you have baby yoga on a Monday, baby massage on a Tuesday etc you will have to check in to rehab by Friday. Usually, these classes come in 6 or 8-week courses so sign up for one and once you have completed the course, sign up for another. This works well because if your little one gets a bug or a cold (hello winter babies) you aren’t losing £10 for every day he or she is ill and you only miss out on one class rather than 7. Also, maternity leave is LONG. Why cram it all into the first few weeks when you can enjoy them as your baby grows and develops? Sidenote. It’s ok if you couldn’t think of anything worse than going to sing and sign/baby massage or sensory. Yes, you may feel more mother earth vibes if you say you are going to baby rhyme time rather than lunch with your mate at the posh eaterie down the road but again, if it’s not for you, don’t force it. Whispers *your baby can’t tell anyone*
Find a Gym with a Creche (self care isn’t selfish)
Gather round. There is a way that you can sit down without your baby and enjoy a latte and eat a muffin without bouncing a baby on your knee. It’s called a creche. Ok, so you’re not ready to navigate the scary world of nursery yet but finding a gym with a creche can really help to take the load off when you’ve had a busy week and gives you some time to yourself. When Jolie was around four months, I would take her to our local health club and do a workout (sometimes I only made it as far as the cafe) and pick her up 2 hours later. There’s something a little hard to stomach about indulging in a little self-care but trust me there isn’t some alarm that is going to go off as soon as you actually relax and enjoy yourself so don’t buy into the mum guilt. There is no shame in protecting your sanity.
Try a Day Out
Once you’ve mastered the walk in your local park, the trip to your local coffee shop and lunch in your local area, it’s time to get a bit more adventurous and do a day out. If you’re in Leeds like me, a trip to tropical world or harewood house is a great shout or if you are in London you might want to book London Aquarium tickets. Whatever you do, take a friend or a family member or a member of your Mum tribe. While you may feel like you have all the time in the world, you will miss the freedom that maternity leave brings and when else would you get all of these opportunities to get out of your own city and spend a day or two seeing it through their eyes. Having a sleepover in a city close by means you can order room service and leave all of your cleaning and cooking duties at home. Days out are the perfect way to practise before you attempt that first family holiday and you get to add some extra special memories to your maternity leave experience.
What are your maternity leave tips? Did you love being on maternity leave or welcome your return back to work? Leave your tips in the comments!
*This post was kindly sponsored by City Cruises but the opinions expressed in this post are entirely my own.
