Cute as a button outfit kindly sent from kids clothing brand La Coqueta.
My littlest love, in 2 weeks you turn one and I can’t quite believe my eyes. Can someone tell this sleep-deprived mama how exactly I have a one-year-old? The fuzzy newborn days, the fourth trimester and my maternity leave have all spun past in a blur. Sometime in the last year, a magic wand has been waved over your little head and you’ve grown from a teeny newborn (ok let’s be honest 8-pound chunk) into a little person with a big personality and the hands that used to rest passively on my chest are now causing chaos picking up anything and everything, clasping snacks, shaking maracas and pulling the dog’s tail at any opportunity. Your head that used to snuggle sleepily on my chest now shakes for no when you are full and those little chubby legs now wiggle with excitement when you see a familiar face or someone that you love. Your little sense of humour amazes me and I could listen to your delicious chortle every minute of every day. You have wrapped everyone around your little finger and enchant anyone in the near vicinity. I have to be honest and say that this has been the most emotional (and highly caffeinated) year of my life but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
The seasons are changing and the last time there were conkers on the ground, we were packing our bags in preparation for your arrival. You were 2 weeks early which was my first clue that you might take after your Dad as I haven’t been early for anything to date. I remember wondering what you would look like and I look back and laugh now as you have daddy’s everything although you do have my eczema so don’t ever say I don’t give you anything! (Sorry little one). We were going to name you Autumn, but now I couldn’t imagine you being anything but our sweet little Jolie. Your nickname is pudding, pud pud and sometimes pud pop. I’m sure you’re going to love that when you’re older.
I remember the exact moment we found out we were having a girl and how I hadn’t dared to even dream that I would have a daughter. I never felt ready to have a baby and was always hesitant around other babies as I never got the maternal feeling and while I liked babies, it was overridden by having no clue what to do with one. I rarely get emotional in blog posts as I tend to focus on the reality of motherhood which is rollercoaster-esque to say the least but I already know how tearful I’ll be when I see that single candle on your birthday cake. We made it. It seems like a world away from the day we brought you home and we fretted over whether you were warm enough or too warm, eyes glued to the room thermometer, turning on the heating then flapping the windows open and closed fearing you might overheat. We were so nervous those first few nights but you were so loved from the moment we laid eyes on you.
Your little personality is my favourite and it’s already clear you march to the beat of your own drum which is cute now but I’m scared for my life when you can actually walk or talk. You’re already fiercely independent but the way your face lights up when you see me is something I will never get enough of. I love your curious nature, how you’ll push me out of the way to see a new face that’s come into the room. How you’ll peer around to see whose knee you’re perched on. There’s so much magic and mischief brimming behind those beautiful blue eyes. You’re daddy’s mirror image but I see myself in you more and more as each day passes. The glint in your eye when you discover a new game, the happy dance you do when anyone hands you food and the way you will nap at the drop of a hat. You give me perspective on life and when I’m overwhelmed with work or life admin I realise that if you are sleeping soundly in your cot then my day’s work is done.
This year has been a whirlwind. Let’s take the word whirlwind, type it in capitals, underline it and make it BOLD. It’s felt like both the longest yet shortest year of my life. There’s been the am I ever going to sleep again days, the there can’t be another poo days and the my coffee needs a coffee days. I’ve watched in wonder as you’ve navigated the first year of your life and marvelled at how you’ve taken it all in your wobbly little stride and to be honest, I’ve felt just as unsteady on my feet navigating the first year of motherhood. Someone, please make a manual?
Thank you for being the most beautiful (louder than loud, gleeful, nosy if not the tiniest bit demanding) soul. I love you from the tip of your hair to your tiny pudding toes.
*Jolie’s outfit was kindly gifted by La Coqueta
Beautifully written from the heart. Congratulations to you all X